Pets
by KiwiKagari
Summary: Alternate Universe where Croix and Chariot are married. Diana and Akko are Chariot's familiars. Diana is a twin-tailed, white cat and Akko is the fluffiest hellhound in existence. Starring Sassy Diana and Adorkable Akko! No plot, just fun. "I didn't know dust bunnies could be familiars."
1. The Begining

Diana watched as Chariot chanted her summoning spell.

Chariot lived on the edge of town with her wife and famous inventor, Croix. There were many competitors who wanted to steal Croix's ideas and magical tech, so the couple moved to the rural countryside. At least here they'd have some peace.

Or so they thought.

One of Croix's rivals had the audacity to hire robbers to steal her blueprints while the couple was out on a date. If it weren't for Chariot's familiar, Diana, they would have surely made off with months of Croix's work. Diana subdued them easily and no one was harmed, but Chariot insisted on getting Diana a partner. Diana was an expert in defensive magic like wards, healing, and binding spells. Chariot was such a klutz, Croix made her get a familiar to look after her. Diana proved to be the perfect feline for the job, taking on her duties with diligence. She healed many bumps and bruises since she paired up with Chariot. The idea of another familiar joining them, a destructive one at that, made her nervous.

Finally, the room filled with light and Chariot's familiar materialized. Diana squinted at the foreign entity. She needed to get a closer look. Chariot was still catching her breath; summoning spells took a lot of effort. "I summoned a hellhound, or at least I tried too," Chariot said. "Even if it isn't a hellhound, it's still your new partner!"

Diana examined the ball of fluff, "I didn't know dust bunnies could be familiars." Suddenly, two triangular ears perked up at the sound of her voice. Diana leaned away as the furry creature sprung up wagging its tail. Diana's eyes sized up Chariot's newest companion. Her cool gaze didn't put off the puffy beast and the foreign creature licked her nose. Diana reeled back in shock, hair standing up straight. Chariot giggled and stroked Diana's snowy coat in a soothing manner. Diana let out quiet mewl but kept her eyes locked onto equally curious newcomer.

"Hello there," Chariot said creeping closer to her new familiar. Upon closer examination, the beast resembled a ridiculously fluffy dog with crimson eyes. "I'm Chariot and I'm your new ma—"

"Mama?" the pup asked with a tilt of its head.

"No, you are her familiar which makes her your mast—" Diana started.

"Diana, hush," Chariot interrupted. "Yes, sweetie. I'm your mother from now on." Diana let out a disapproving meow but was ignored.

"Mama!" the pup yipped happily as it ran into Chariot's arms. Chariot laughed as she assaulted with kisses. Diana was surprised by how friendly the supposed hellhound was. She needed at least a few weeks to get used to everything, but this living plush toy was more than comfortable with Chariot in a few seconds.

"C'mon Diana, say hi to your new friend," Chariot smiled while holding the puppy toward Diana. Her hands were lost in the hellhound's brown coat, revealing just how small the beast was.

Diana reluctantly approached the puppy. However, before she could address the dog, its nose twitched. What should have been an innocent sneeze turned into a blast of fire that nearly burned off Diana's silky fur. Luckily, Diana put up a barrier before any damage could be done. She let out an irritated growl while Chariot continued to hold the pup in shock.

That was the day Akko and Diana became partners.

 **Author's Notes**

I imagine Akko as a pomeranian.


	2. Dinner Time

Akko pawed at the floor, drooling. Diana rolled her eyes and looked over at Chariot. "You don't need to cook for us. We can eat ordinary pet food," Diana suggested, "Akko certainly wouldn't mind."

"Diana, are you picking on Akko again?" Chariot chided.

"No, I'm stating the truth. She tried to eat rocks, Chariot. _Rocks_ ," Diana emphasized.

"They looked like eggs!" Akko defended. "Mama, is it almost done?"

"Soon, sweetie. Why don't you and Diana go play while I finish up?" Chariot said.

"Diana doesn't know how to play!" Akko huffed. Croix entered the kitchen and pet Diana's head as she passed, earning a pleased mewl.

"It smells delicious," Croix complimented, wrapping her arms around Chariot's waist. Chariot leaned back against Croix.

"This is going to be our last meal before you go. I'm going to miss you," Chariot admitted softly. Croix kissed her cheek and tightened her grip.

"I'll be back before you know it," Croix assured. Croix stayed in the kitchen and pet Diana, wanting to stay close to her wife without getting in the way. The couple bantered playfully until Akko jumped into Croix's lap nearly knocking Diana over. Fortunately, the food was finished and everyone was too focused on Chariot's home-cooking to start arguing. Akko and Diana waited in front of their respective bowls. Croix washed her hands and helped Chariot set the table. The moment Chariot placed the food in her bowl, Akko stuffed her entire face inside.

"Are you a dog or a pig?" Diana said with obvious distaste. Akko looked at her, food all over her face.

"Hungry," she replied, "I'm hungry, Diana." Akko then immediately returned to her meal, wolfing down as much as she could at once. Diana nibbled at her food, careful not to make a mess. It didn't take long for Akko to finish her meal and eye Diana's. "Are you going to eat your baby trees?"

"It's called broccoli and yes, I'm going to eat them. I actually like to enjoy my dinner instead of inhaling it," Diana replied.

"I don't get it. If the little corn is 'baby corn' and mini carrots are 'baby carrots', why isn't broccoli called baby trees?" Akko asked. Diana balked. While she seriously thought about the question, Akko's muzzle found its way into her bowl.

"Akko no!" Diana scolded. Her glare turned into a grimace when she noticed Akko was wearing half her meal on her face. Diana pinned Akko down and started to groom her, much to the pup's dismay. Akko growled and tried to wiggle free, but Diana had her locked in place.

"Mama! Diana's trying to eat my face!" Akko howled. However, Chariot and Croix were in their own world, flirting with each other.

"It's even on your ears!" Diana said in disbelief as she continued to clean Akko.

After dinner, Akko dragged her bed to the opposite end of the room, refusing to talk to Diana for the rest of the evening. Diana didn't seem to care and skimmed through a few of her notes before bed. The next morning, Chariot awoke to find Akko crammed inside Diana's bed, as usual. Akko never cared much for her own bed and always snuggled up to Diana. Chariot felt somewhat guilty since she'd be intruding on their cuddle time when Croix left. Akko and Diana never had any problems sleeping with her in her bed, but seeing them like this made Chariot wonder if she was getting in their way.

"You didn't even need to buy a second bed," Croix remarked as she drowsily shuffled into the room.

"I think I bought the _wrong_ bed," Chariot implied. Croix got the hint and smiled.

Before she left that afternoon, she bought a bed big enough for the two to share.


	3. Clean Up

**A few days later (Croix's Workshop)**

"Croix won't be back for some time. Now is the perfect chance to clean up her workshop! She's always leaving the place in such a mess," Chariot complained, though Diana could hear the affection in her master's voice. She rubbed against Chariot's leg, purring softly. "Thank you," Chariot said while scratching Diana behind her ears. "I miss her already, but at least I have you two."

On cue, Akko came dashing in with her head stuck in a jar. "Diana! There were no cookies in this jar, only darkness!" she whined. Chariot chuckled but Diana sighed.

"How many times have I told you not to stick your head in things. Last time it was a pickled plum jar, now this? Honestly," Diana lectured. She strode over to Akko, her twin tails swaying behind her. Chariot smirked, despite being so haughty about it, Diana always helped Akko. Once freed from her prison, Akko tried to give Diana a bunch of wet kisses, but Diana wasn't having it. She placed a paw firmly on Akko's head, restraining the pup with ease. Chariot walked over and scooped Akko up in her arms.

"If you help Mama clean up, you'll get cookies. Deal?" Chariot suggested as she pet Akko's coat. Akko nodded her head and wagged her tail enthusiastically. And so, the trio went to work. Diana picked up empty noodle cups and placed them in the trash. Chariot carefully sorted Croix tools which were laying around all over the place. Everything had a place, but Croix often forgot to put things back and would freak out over not finding them the next day. Akko rolled around on the floor and wiggled between spaces, using her body like a feather duster. Diana cringed at her filthy fur. Then Akko's brown fur blazed as if she were wearing embers and the dust was incinerated, leaving her clean. "That's simultaneously clever and disgusting," Diana said, unsure if she should scold the pup or praise her.

A sudden movement caught her eye and Diana pounced in a single fluid motion. Akko gawked at Diana's predatory form as she captured a mouse. Akko did a backflip out of pure excitement, yapping with praise. Chariot heard the commotion and turned to see Diana holding her freshly caught prey. "Great job, Diana! These little guys nibble on all of Croix's tools," Chariot praised while sealing the mouse in a magic cage. Akko halted her energetic dance and watched as Chariot ran her fingers through Diana's fur.

She wanted scritches too.

Later when Chariot opened the door to leave, a gust of wind blew leaves into the workshop. Before she could react, Akko pounced on one of the leaves. Akko rushed up to her with the leaf in her mouth. She placed it in front of Chariot and looked up at her expectantly. "I caught this!" she barked. Chariot smiled at her and pat her head.

"Good girl, Akko!" Chariot said. Akko's eyes lit up and she spun around in circles, overcome with joy. Even Diana seemed to soften up at Akko's innocent delight. She nuzzled Akko in a way anyone else would call lovingly before heading out. Akko was so stunned, she froze in shock. Chariot whisked away the remaining leaves with a flick of her wand before carrying Akko out, still short-circuiting from Diana's affection.

"Mama," Akko said.

"What is it?" Chariot grinned.

"Diana's really soft," Akko stated.

"Yes, she is," Chariot replied. _In more ways than one_ , she thought.


	4. Different but not Less

Diana batted the ball away without bothering to raise her head from her book. Akko scurried after it, tail wagging all the way as she retrieved it. She placed the ball in front of Diana and looked at her expectantly. When Diana didn't move, Akko nudged the ball closer before letting out a whine. Diana was too absorbed in her reading to notice. Akko nipped at Diana playfully, making her release an irritated meow.

"Akko, I'm busy!" Diana irked.

"But I want to play!" Akko huffed. Diana hopped off the couch, her book levitating behind her. She decided to climb on top of the cabinet, far from Akko's reach. However, Akko didn't give up. She sat at the base of the cabinet with the ball beside her. Akko let out an excited bark when her ball floated in the air in front of her. Instead of throwing it, Diana levitated the ball back into Akko's wagon. It was a small wagon containing her toys. Chariot trained Akko to put her toys away, but now she left the wagon all over the house. They lost count of the times Croix tripped on Akko's unintentional trap.

Akko dashed toward her wagon and dragged it toward Diana by its rope handle. "We can play something else!" Akko said while rummaging through it.

"I can't," Diana sighed. Akko dropped the squeak toy in her mouth and her ears flattened against her head. She looked up at Diana with her big sad puppy eyes. "That might work on Chariot, but it won't work on me." Diana went back to her book. She expected Akko to leave her be. Instead, Akko threw her head back and howled as loudly as she could. "Akko! I need to work!" Diana scolded.

"Then what about after? Can we play when you're done?" Akko pleaded. Whenever Chariot left, the pup didn't know what to do with herself.

"When I'm done we can play together, alright?" Diana relented. Akko spun in a circle, tail wagging wildly behind her.

"Yay!" she cheered. "Can I help you? Then you can finish faster and we can play!" Akko suggested.

"In that case, can you bring me the book in Chariot's office titled _Anatomy and Physiology_?" Diana requested. Akko nodded and sped off toward Chariot's office. While Akko was away, Diana returned to the couch where they could sit side by side. Akko finally returned with a book, but it was titled _Astrology and Planetary Motion._ "Akko, this is the wrong one." Akko looked at the title blankly.

"What does it say?" she asked. Diana balked. Akko couldn't read. Diana was in an upper tier. The higher the tier, the smarter the familiar. Being a guardian, it was her duty to nurture and advise her master. She protected Chariot and carried out tasks for her. Meanwhile, destructive familiars were near the bottom. They're masters simply pointed in a direction and they mindlessly attacked. No one wanted a destructive beast to turn their flames against them. They were easier to tame if they were…dull. Diana mentally chided herself for not realizing this sooner. Akko's infantile demeanor was part of her nature. Diana decided she needed to go about this a bit differently.

"This isn't the right one, but I was going to read this book later tonight anyway," Diana said.

"But I didn't get the one you need! What does it look like? I'll get it next time!" Akko said, ready to retrieve.

"It's a red hardcover—," Diana hesitated. Akko shared a lot of common traits with dogs so perhaps…

Before she could say another word, Akko bolted out of the living room. She returned a few minutes later with a yellow hardcover book in her mouth. Yellow, not red. Akko must have sensed realized she got it wrong again because she turned back around. Her ears were down again and she lost the pep in her step. "Akko?" Diana called gently. Akko stopped but didn't turn back.

"I'm getting in your way. We can play when you're done," Akko replied. Diana sprinted off the couch and stood directly in front of her. Akko's watery red eyes made tugged at her heart.

"Don't say that. You're assisting me," Diana said while nuzzling her gently.

"But I can't do anything except burn stuff!" Akko cried. She pushed past Diana and left. After she put the book back, she returned only to pull her wagon to the opposite end of the living room. Diana could only look on as Akko curled up into a ball beside her wagon. She absentmindedly chewed at her favorite toy, Alcor. The toy's soft squeaks echoed through the quiet house. Diana wanted to cheer her up, but she wasn't sure how. Diana walked up to Akko and placed her head on her back.

"I'm glad you're here with me. The house can get…lonely," Diana confessed. The squeaks stopped.

"Do you mean it?" Akko asked. Diana groomed Akko affectionately.

"With all my heart," Diana said. That was all it took for Akko's tail to start wagging again. "I could use a break."

"Do you want to play with me?" Akko inquired hopefully.

"I'd love too," Diana answered.

When she finally returned, Chariot tripped over Akko's wagon and dropped her groceries all over the floor. Apparently, Diana and Akko had a lot of fun while she was away. Akko's toys were strewn about everywhere. Chariot picked up her groceries before she started looking for her familiars. They usually greeted her at the door. Eventually, she found them cuddled together in their bed. Akko had Diana's teddy beside her while Diana had Alcor. Chariot tried not to gush over them as she snapped a picture of the duo with her cellphone. She needed to send this to Croix!

 **Author's Notes**

I wonder if I should have said Akko had to drop the book before speaking since she's holding it in her mouth. I didn't want to add extra fluff (not the good kind) but if anything is unclear, be sure to let me know. No point in sharing it if no one can understand it!

By the way, what do you think Diana named her bear? Paddington? Reginald? Tobi? I'm genuinely curious!

For any new readers, my Tumblr is also KiwiKagari. You can send me anonymous messages there if you'd prefer.


	5. Thunder

Lightning flashed, brightening the entire room. Akko barked excitedly at the window while thunder roared overhead. "Mama! That was even louder than the last one!" she yapped. Chariot chuckled at Akko's delight in the storm. She expected fear or anxiety, but the pup only looked on with awe. Akko scuttled back to the bed. She hopped on top of the lump of blankets beside Chariot. Diana let out a frustrated meow. "You can't see from under there!"

Diana refused to answer. She popped her head out from under the sheets and glared at Akko, who licked her nose in response. Diana opened her mouth to reply but a clap of thunder made her curl into Chariot's side. Chariot stroked her fur soothingly, earning a quiet mewl. Akko tilted her head in confusion. "Diana is a bit of a scaredy-cat," Chariot revealed.

"I'm not scared! I just hate the noise," Diana said. Akko rested the side of her head against Diana's back. She liked using Diana as a pillow but hearing her rapid heartbeat lead to concern. Akko nuzzled Diana gently and playfully licked her ear. Diana peeked up at her, trying her best not to let her fear show. Akko snuggled up beside Diana and Chariot pet her head.

"Don't you want to watch the storm?" Chariot asked.

"No, I want to be here!" Akko replied. Diana relaxed a bit against Akko's warm body and soft fur.

"I'm fine," Diana huffed, fighting the pleased purr she nearly released.

"I know," Akko said. She nudged Diana with her nose and wagged her tail. Chariot smiled at her two familiars. Seeing them get along reminded her of Croix. She'd be back any day now, but the wait was starting to take its toll. Chariot adjusted herself under the covers and laid on her side. Akko and Diana promptly moved in between her arms.

"Hey now, what if I roll over and squish you?" Chariot giggled as Diana nuzzled her face.

"We can handle squishes!" Akko said while she struggled to give Chariot a few kisses of her own. "Diana, move!"

"Excuse you, this is my place," Diana remarked as she cuddled underneath Chariot's chin. Chariot grinned as Diana's silky fur tickled her. Akko stubbornly draped herself over Diana.

"This is my place now," Akko said.

"You're heavy!"

"If you can't handle my squishes, you can't handle Mama's either!"

Chariot laughed and pulled them close to her chest. She may feel lonely, but she certainly wasn't alone. The storm rolled away, taking its thunder with it. The room was silent aside from their quiet breaths and Akko's little snores.

Croix slipped in as quietly as she could, but Akko and Diana were ready for her at the bedroom door. "Croix? You should have called, I nearly had Akko roast you," Diana scolded.

"I wanted to surprise you," Croix said. "Is she still sleeping?"

"Yes, she's still asleep. Do you want me to wake her?" Diana asked.

"No, let her rest," Croix responded feeling just a bit disappointed.

Akko wagged her tail and put her paws on Croix's shin. "Mama's going to be so happy! I'm so happy! Even Diana's happy! She's just grumpy in the morning," Akko yipped. As if on cue, Diana let out a yawn. Croix pet Akko and placed a kiss on top of her head. Diana patiently waited for her kiss too. Croix smirked as she placed one softly between her ears. Akko and Diana started feeling more like children than familiars, and she was overcome with a feeling she couldn't quite pinpoint. However, when she saw Chariot snuggled in bed with her red hair splayed messily over her pillows, she understood.

She was home.

Croix couldn't help herself. She carefully laid down behind Chariot and put an arm around her waist.

"I'm home," she whispered quietly.

"Welcome back," came a sleepy reply. Croix beamed and pulled Chariot close to her chest. Chariot put her hand over Croix's and would have ended up drifting off again, if not for Akko and Diana. Akko shamelessly covered Chariot's face with her belly.

"My belly's making thunder," Akko said seriously. Sure enough, there was a hungry grumble from her tummy. "If we don't fix it, Diana will be scared!"

"I wasn't scared!" Diana scoffed. She pushed Akko off Chariot, freeing her master's face from the hug. Akko let out an upset squeal.

Chariot laughed, "I guess it's time for breakfast then."

Croix held her tighter, "Just a few more minutes?"

"The kids are hungry," Chariot joked. Akko and Diana were now wrestling with each other. It ended when Diana trapped Akko in a bubble shield. Akko was ready to unleash a blast of fire—

"You're right! Let's eat breakfast," Croix said hastily. Akko extinguished her flames and wagged her tail innocently. Diana sighed and released her. "Are they always like that?"

"Only when they're hungry," Chariot replied while shuffling into the bathroom. "Let's feed them before they burn down the house."

Croix took a moment to recognize the chaos around her.

She was glad to be back.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

This chapter was inspired by friend's cat, Cali ;)


	6. Box of Shammy

Croix had enough.

Once again, Akko left her wagon in the middle of the hall. Croix stumbled on the unintentional trap and spilled her ramen all over her shirt. This was the last straw, Akko needed to be punished. She needed a timeout.

 **One Hour Later**

"Akko! Come here right now," Croix called from the kitchen. The guilty pup peeked inside but didn't enter. "C'mon," Croix said. Akko slowly made her way to Croix, ears down and tail between her legs. Croix had to remind herself to be strong. Akko's cute guilty face was hard to resist, but remembering the ramen incident fortified her resolve. "I've told you countless times not to leave your wagon all over the house." Akko rolled onto her back and showed her tummy in submission. She let out a soft whine and looked up at Croix with big sad eyes. "That's not going to work this time. You've been a bad dog and now you need a timeout," Croix declared while pointing to the cardboard box beside her. "Now, get into the box. Your sentence is fifteen minutes. I hope you reflect on the err of your ways."

Akko sat back up and tilted her head in confusion. There was a word written on the box. She remembered her lessons with Diana and tried to sound it out. " _Shammy?_ " Akko tried.

" _Shame,_ the 'e' is silent, _"_ Croix corrected. She couldn't stop the swell of pride she felt as Akko tried to read, but she needed to be firm. Croix picked Akko up and placed her in the box. "Now, stay here until this timer goes off. If you leave early, I'll put you back in for _twenty_ minutes." Akko sat down in the box for about ten seconds.

"Am I done now?" she asked.

"No, I just put you in! Wait for the timer to go off," Croix replied.

"Can I have Alcor?" Akko tried again.

"Nope. You're being punished. No toys allowed in the Box of Shame," Croix said strictly.

"I don't like the Box of Shame," Akko sulked.

"Good."

"I'm going to burn it."

Croix's eyes widened, "NO! You can't burn it!"

Akko swallowed her fire, "Is it fireproof?"

"No, but—"

"Then it burns," she said before preparing more fire.

"AKKO NO!" Croix cried. Akko put out her flames and continued to sulk. She placed a rebellious nip on the box. Croix let out a sigh of relief. "Good, now stay put until the timer goes off!"

Chariot came just in time to see Croix standing with her hands on her hips over a very grumpy Akko. The moment Chariot came into view Akko's spirits lifted. She wagged her tail rapidly, shaking the box. "Mama!" she beamed.

"Croix, why did you put my baby in a box?" Chariot inquired, an amused smile on her face. She approached Croix and placed a kiss on her cheek before moving to give Akko a pet on the head.

"She was a bad girl and needed to be placed in time out," Croix explained. She retold the ramen tragedy and Chariot listened while Akko whined in her box. She wanted more pets. Akko's begging broke her heart but Croix was right. However, there was another issue to take care of as well.

"I thought I told you to hold back on the ramen. Once in a while is fine, but you're eating way too many!" said Chariot. "How many did you eat today?" Croix froze.

"A few?" she replied meekly.

"Croix! How much is a few?" Chariot demanded. As Croix tried to wiggle out of the situation, she noticed Akko looking at her smugly from her box.

"Croix needs a timeout!" Akko yipped. Croix shot her a glare as Chariot started dragging her out of the kitchen.

"You're going to show me where you stash them. Only one ramen a day a most! I'll be holding onto them for now on so you don't go overboard again," Chariot said. Croix tried to stop Chariot by pulling back, but resistance was futile. Chariot was strong enough to throw bears, so Croix never had a chance. "You ate so many noodles you're turning into one!" Chariot huffed at Croix's sad attempt.

"I'm your noodle though," Croix replied while giving Chariot a hug instead. Chariot pause for a moment before she returned the hug and nuzzled Croix gently.

"That's not fair," she pouted. Croix smiled and kissed her ear.

"I love you," she whispered.

"More than ramen?" Chariot asked.

"Yes, more than ramen," Croix laughed. She pulled away to look into Chariot's eyes. "Alright, I'll show you where I hid them." Chariot beamed and kissed her nose.

"Good!" said Chariot, "And I love you too." The two shared a moment of comfortable silence, gazing into each other's eyes.

Wait.

Silence?

Akko's whining had stopped. They both peered back into the kitchen to see Akko now had company. There were two babies in the box now. Diana had smushed herself into the box beside her. Akko was more fluff than pup anyway so they fit somewhat snugly. Akko was curled up into a tight ball and Diana used her back as a pillow for her head. Akko didn't seem to mind, she enjoyed the company.

"I guess your plan backfired," Chariot giggled as she watched the two.

"Diana is such a cat. Why do we even buy toys?" Croix said.

"It's not just the box, but the contents inside," Chariot explained. Seeing them get along so well made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Their relationship was rocky at first, but soon they became inseparable. She glanced at Croix feeling a sense of déjà vu. When she first met Croix, she had no idea she'd ever become this important to her.

 **Fifteen Minutes Later**

The timer went off but Akko made no attempt to move.

She liked the box. Diana was inside so there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

 **Author's Note**

I'm having trouble with double spacing for some reason so I emphasized the time slip in bold. I hate the way it looks :/


	7. Jealousy

Diana let out a small sad mewl when Chariot stopped petting her. "Someone's clingy today, Chariot smiled as she started scratching Diana behind her ears. Diana snuggled into her lap, pleased with the attention. She purred with content. Chariot wondered what brought on this sudden need for affection. Diana was never cold, but she was often aloof and busy with finding ways to become stronger. She accepted all their love, but she never actually approached them demanding attention before. Not that it was bothersome. Chariot enjoyed cuddly Diana immensely, but what could have triggered her kitty to act like this? There was only one person who could pull Diana out of character. Or rather, one pup.

"What's Akko up to? I saw her in the kitchen earlier," Chariot asked. The purring stopped.

"How should I know?" Diana replied with annoyance. Oh, so it _was_ Akko after all. Chariot tried her best not to smile. She picked up Diana up who meowed in protest and hugged her against her chest.

"What's wrong Dia?" Chariot cooed. Diana relaxed a bit at the use of her nickname. She nuzzled Chariot softly.

"Nothing," Diana replied. Suddenly, distressed beeps rang out beside them. Chariot looked over to see their new Roomba stuck underneath the end table. Before Chariot could get up to move it, Akko bolted into the living room.

"I'll save you Pumbaa!" Akko shouted. Chariot watched as Akko rescued the Roomba. "All better! Pumbaa, you need to be more careful."

"Pumbaa?" Chariot asked with an amused smile on her lips.

"Yes! I named him Pumbaa because he eats everything," Akko answered. Seeing Chariot's confusion, Diana decided to enlighten her.

"Croix showed her _The Lion King._ Pumbaa is a warthog," Diana explained. She glared at Pumbaa. "Akko has been following that stupid thing all day. She even talks to it when it's charging," Diana grumbled.

"I was telling him a bedtime story! And Pumbaa's not stupid, he's learning his way around the house. Croix said so," Akko defended.

"I had to rescue you and Pumbaa when you were _both_ stuck under the couch," Diana reminded, irritation in every word. Chariot was a bit surprised. She's never seen Diana act this way before. It was almost like…

"Pumbaa is my friend and I'm going to protect him. He needs me," Akko said huffed.

" _I_ need you!" said Diana. There was a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Dia. Were you lonely?" Akko asked as she hopped onto the couch.

"I don't get lonely," Diana mumbled as she tried to hide her face.

Chariot covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from squealing.

Diana was jealous of the Roomba.

Akko squirmed her way into Chariot's lap and gave Diana playful licks and nips. "Dia," Akko called in a sing-song voice. Diana peered at her and Akko bumped their noses together. "Boop."

Unable to handle how cute her familiars were Chariot cuddled them and kissed their foreheads. Diana purred sweetly while Akko's tail wagged with joy. Until the distressed beeps sounded again. Diana looked over at Akko.

"Dia, let's help Pumbaa together," Akko suggested. Diana nodded and Chariot reluctantly released them so they could continue their rescue mission.

"Dear, why are the kids stalking my Roomba?" Croix asked when she entered the house.

"They're babysitting Pumbaa," Chariot answered. Croix continued to stare at her blankly. "You caused a lot of drama with your new Roomba."

"Oh? Tell me all about it," Croix chuckled.

"I'd love too, but your dripping oil in my kitchen."

Croix groaned and shuffled into the bathroom. Chariot laughed at her wife's dramatic display before looking back at her two sentries and their Roomba.

Pumbaa wasn't going to split them up, he was another thing they could bond over.

 **Author's Notes**

Thank you, anon! For letting me know I slipped up and used _Ursula_ instead of Chariot. I fixed it 😉

I love Timon and Pumbaa.


End file.
